The first 7 years of a child's life lays the foundations of their 'BEing' from learnings and behaviours they pick up from parents, carers, teachers - the people they spend most of their time with. The learnings of which they take into adulthood, albeit in their unconscious.
Let's take shouting at a child as an example. Shouting at a child will make them feel fear, unsafe, misunderstood and insecure. It can have long term effects such as anxiety, low self-esteem and increased aggression for them in adulthood
Shouting is, anger. All the child hears is someone being very loud and won't understand what it is the adult wants from them. Your children learn from you all the time. For your child to grow up to be confident, fair, respectful of others, understanding, patient - all the things you'd want for your child, you might want to think about how you are acting around them and what you are saying to them or in front of them.
Children who feel unconditionally loved and safe (they will not feel this way if they are shouted at), are more likely to listen and observe, encouraging them to grow up with essential good communication skills. Remaining calm, patient and aware of your actions/words will make the difference.
Children need to be taught right from wrong, and there's a right way and a wrong way to do that. They see life totally differently to an adult. They have a limited way of showing their emotions. Be patient and encourage them to talk, explain your emotions too - in a calm, relaxed way. They will learn the same and know the difference in their emotions in adulthood.
As an adult we are conditioned by the way we were brought up. Just because you were brought up a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean it's the right way to bring up your own child. You have conditionings and beliefs from your childhood. We all have an inner child. You have an inner child who might need help.
This might be difficult to understand if you've never come across it before - and once you've ventured into making discoveries about yourself, your inner child and why you are the way you are, this will stand you in good stead to be the best parent you can be. It'll help you understand yourself more deeply and change your outlook on communication and on your life.
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Most of us know someone who is in University or College. Many of these students are 'stressed' for a number of reasons. Here are just some of them:
Being away from home for the first time
Late nights and early mornings
Change in eating habits
Pressure of studying
Out of control debts
Balancing the demands of family with studying
Parents or problems at home
Stress can affect students mentally, physically and emotionally. Here are some of the ways they are affected:
Some stress can be mentally stimulating and that's fine. However, too much build up of stress affects our thinking. More time is focussed on worrying about things, thoughts become jumbled, making it harder to make decisions.
Blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster. Breathing can become faster and less efficient. This can lead to headaches, insomnia, indigestion, nausea, diarrhoea, constipation, vomiting.
Emotional feelings of stress can show up as fear, anxiety, self-doubt, not wanting to speak with others, staying in their room, emotional withdrawal, insecurity, hopelessness, unhappiness, depression.
It's easy for someone to say to you, "You'll be fine," or "Think positive." This isn't so easy to actually do. Sometimes we need help.
Arming the student with ways of how to deal with the stresses and strains of being away from home, deadlines, studying and socialising; will ensure they have a more positive, confident and successful experience.
Are you a student who is struggling? Do you know a student who is struggling?
Are you a parent/caregiver who is concerned about a loved one?
Help is available.
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Retirement can be scary for some. Have you thought about what you are going to do with the extra time you have on your hands?
You want to try something new but think you can't 'because of your age?'
Let's discuss your options, your dreams, your aspirations.
What about making some goals for yourself - compelling, realistic, fun goals. It's amazing what you are capable of achieving once you put your mind to it.
Do you want to try new things you didn't have time to do when you were working, but feel afraid to do it? There are so many ideas out there. Let's get you out of your comfort zone and trying some of them.
We'll start by discussing what you would love to do but feel you can't.
If you are stuck for ideas we can work on that too! By finding out what your Values are (values run everything) and delving into what lights you up and makes you feel alive. Yes please I'll have some more of that!
If you have any limiting beliefs, we'll find out what they are and release you from them (beliefs are not real, although sometimes we believe they are, and, yes, they can very much feel real at times).
When setting your goals we'll make sure they are what you really want (there's a special way of doing this which I'll show you), work together on how you are going to achieve them whilst measuring how you are going to reach them.
Doesn't this sound fun? It certainly will be.
What's better than achieving an action you thought you never could - you are going to feel sooooo good.
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Death - I'm not fussed on this word. I prefer 'passed away.' But death is death. It's the one thing we all have in common. We'll all lose people we care about during our own lifetime.
With the experience of someone's death we get bereavement and grief.
What do these words actually mean?
What is Bereavement?
Bereavement is the period of grief and mourning, after a death. The length of time this goes on for, is anyone's guess. Everyone experiences it differently.
What is Grief?
Grief is another word for all the different emotions a person feels after experiencing a death of someone you care about.
Each person's experience of grief is unique to them. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. The feelings are what they are. And the feelings can change from one minute to the next.
Grief can be known not only from experiencing the death of someone you care about. It can be from a relationship split, losing a pet, any significant change in your life.
I recently received a message from someone who had lost a loved one and they said they didn't know how to feel. You feel the way you feel - that's it. It can be a shock, it can feel like your world has burst apart, it can be sad.
It can't be fixed, it can't be told to go away (you can try this but it'll come back). you might feel fine one minute, then burst into tears the next. You might want to hide away from the world, or surround yourself with your loved ones.
The Grieving Process
Here are some of the emotions you might feel whilst grieving:
Feeling a little better
These are some of the things you will go through when grieving. Not in this particular order as you can feel one thing one minute, and feel something the next. And you might go back to feeling the first thing at another time.
You might not go through all these emotions.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Be easy on yourself. Give yourself space from your normal, everyday life, to deal with your confused feelings/emotions. To 'just be.' Acknowledging how you feel is good for you. Acknowledge you are feeling sad, or number, or angry, or lonely etc., your body and mind will then have time to process that emotion and allow you space to let it go.
to chat. Grief can impact you and the people around you. It can feel like you are out of control about what's going on, you may have brain fog, wonder how you are going to cope. You might not feel like reaching out. This is exactly when you need to. Click on the link above to make an appointment.